‘I’ve the bedbug drawback beneath management’

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‘I have the bedbug problem under control’

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In response to the bug infestation at Twitter headquarters, Elon Musk assured concerned employees and the city government that he had everything under control. City officials are skeptical and plan to launch a full investigation.

After Musk bought the social media platform, he laid off half the staff and urged the rest to prepare to “work long hours at high intensity.” He added beds in offices for employees to sleep in, drawing the wrath of the San Francisco Building Control Board.

“We need to make sure the building is being used as intended,” department spokesman Patrick Hannan told the Washington Post. “Different building code requirements apply to residential buildings, including those used for short stays. These codes ensure people use spaces safely.”

The guard

Even before Musk added the beds, at least one employee took matters into her own hands and took the initiative.

The bugs were first discovered by software engineer Andrew Canard. Canard noticed what appeared to be insect bites all over his body. “I had these red itchy spots all over,” he said. “I looked at the bed in my office and there they were — bed bugs.”

Bed bugs are visible to the naked eye. A quick search for a bed and sheets is usually enough to spot a nest. Their bites are rarely dangerous, but some employees have a hard time concentrating while scratching.

Elon Musk is tackling the problem as he has in the past. He fired half the staff and told the rest that working long hours at high intensity includes dealing with bug bites.

In related news, a new study shows a poor diet makes you more religious.

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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He has made millions of people both laugh and angry. (He hopes he pissed off the right people.) Aims… More from Andrew Hall